The following essay was published 2007 in the magazine "Text-Art". Andreas had developed the method over the years and first presented it in January 2006 in a seminar in Wolfenbüttel.

Note: This article is the intellectual property of Andreas Eschbach and may not be published, edited, copied or represented on other websites, nor reproduced without previous express permission.

Andreas Eschbach’s 10 points TRP

Remember that revising language and style is the very last step of the revision process. Everything regarding content has to be corrected before you start your TRP. However, if after all your rewriting you are still sitting in front of your text helplessly, thinking that “something still isn't right” this method can help you to find out what is wrong.

The abbreviation TRP stands for »text revision preparation«: The basic idea is to mark a text so thoroughly before the last revision that »favorite« language mistakes stand out particularly clearly.

It is important to understand the following principle: This method for example requires you to mark all adjectives in your text -- this doesn't mean that all of them have to be deleted! Because: The adjective in itself is not »bad« but sometimes it helps to avoid finding the truly suitable expression.

The TRP-markings serve to draw your attention to possible (!) weak points of your text. Deciding whether these are actually weak points or stylistic refinement remains your responsibility as an author. There is no formula for the quality of a text.

The first step: Marking the text

Basic principle 1: You will need a printout of your text -- revising onscreen does simply not work. Take care that you have a sufficiently broad margin. It might have to hold many handwritten notes!

Basic principle 2: Only take a short piece of text at a time for marking. How short is short? You start with page 1 and experiment until you understand the method. (As I said: this goes for marking only. Of course you will have to look at a complete scene or chapter during your final revision).

Basic principle 3: Every TRP-marking-step has to be done separately! Do not try to mark everything at once - you would inevitably miss too much - Therefore start at the beginning again and go through you text section for every TRP-rule.

Basic principle 4: Whenever you notice something in the text - be it negative or positive - set a corresponding comment into the margin -- immediately! (And No, you will not remember. You will forget what you have just noticed and it will still be there when you open the printed book, and then you will realize that you wanted to change this!)

And a final tip: Use a different color for your TRP-markings than for your other corrections, if possible a gentle, restrained one like green or light blue for example.

The 10 TRP-markings and what they are supposed to trigger

1. Cross out the first paragraph of a scene with a sloping dash from the top left to the bottom right.

Considerations: Sometimes the first few paragraphs of a scene are more of a »warm-up« than a well thought-out opening. Check whether the first paragraph is necessary at all. Does the scene win by deleting it? Try to move the important bits from the deleted paragraph elsewhere.

Alternative: Look for the latest possible opening for the scene. Cross out everything before it. Do the previous paragraphs have a function in the history? Which one? Can this function be moved to somewhere else in the text?

2. Cross out all adjectives and adverbs with a thin horizontal line in the middle of the word.

Considerations: Does the text win if you use a more precise noun instead of an adjective or a more precise verb for the adverb? (Instead of “He walked slowly”: “He crept” or: “he strolled” and so on).

3. Mark all words indicating dialog with wavy lines. (I mean all “he said”, “explained Peter”, “coughed Ingrid” etc.)

Considerations: The text often wins if you reduce the number of words indicating dialog as long as the reader understands effortlessly who is speaking without them. Phrases like “Great”, Peter said and clapped his hands enthusiastically. “Let’s do it.” can be shortened to “Great!” Peter clapped his hands enthusiastically. “Let’s do it.”

But don't overdo it: A long dialog without any sort of action or naming the speakers will confuse the reader!

4. Frame all Buzzwords and Fillers like “some, several, probable, approximately, obvious, exact, considerable, a couple of, little, many”.

Considerations: These words are almost always dispensable!

(make your own list of “favorite filler words”)

5. Cross out all indicators of simultaneity like “as, during or simultaneously” with crosses.

Considerations: A writer can tell events that in reality take place simultaneously one after the other without loosing something. Pay attention to the correct logical, causal and temporal sequence: Turn “She yelled when he slapped her” into “He slapped her and she yelled out”. If you turn it into “She yelled out and he slapped her” you are telling a completely different story!

6. Mark passive phrases with a small P above the sentence.

Considerations: Check whether using the active form wouldn’t be better. Most passive constructions happen by mistake while writing the first draft and if you look closely the sentence improves by rewriting it in the active form.

7. Mark long sentences with an L over the period.

How to find long sentences quickly: Look for dots! The sentence is long if there are more than three lines without a period (Of course length depends on the formatting of the page as well as on the genre in which you write).

Considerations: Would anything be lost if the sentence is divided or even better shortened?

8. Mark speeches with more than three sentences with an “LD” (for “long dialog”)

Considerations: Can you shorten these dialogs or divide them?

9. Mark all indirect perceptions with a jagged line (like “saw how” “wondered if” “hoped that”)

Considerations: Is the indirect perception really required? Why?

10. Search for paragraphs in which you have told the same fact repeatedly and mark them with a double vertical wavy line in the margins.

Considerations: One often describes the same observation, feeling or consideration more than once in different ways, looking for the best expression. Unfortunately, two similar sentences weaken each other’s effect!

In the example given it has to be considered if “She clubbed him over the head a second time” wouldn't be more effective.

The second step: True Revision

Go through the highlighted text with the suggestions given above in your head. Cut, dissect and insert sentences appropriately but keep your main emphasis on cutting. Most texts win by shortening them considerably. (Try this experiment: count the words before and after your revision and strives for deleting at least ten per cent.)

Also, mark all paragraphs which seem excellent to you with a vertical double line in the margin. It is just as important to identify and mark the “strong bits” of a story as recognizing the “weak spots”. You do not want to "disimprove" it in an inattentive moment of following rules too excessively.

“To be or not to be” should not be disimproved to “The question is whether we are or not”.

The third step: Read loud

The best test there is for the quality of your text is to read it loud. Not every text that can be read loud easily is a good text but any text that is not easy to read loud is bad!

I recommend printing the text again after the revision to read from a clean hardcopy. All places where your tongue stumbles when reading loud require more correcting.

By the way, you don't have to be a good reader for this exercise! On the contrary, it works even better if you read clumsy and monotonous -- practiced speakers are capable of smoothing weak points by skillful emphasis. That might be appropriate for a hearing book but not if you are struggling for getting your story into its final shape.

Of course it helps to have a listener: The reader is more self conscious and listens to himself more closely. If you cannot or will not read to an audience (maybe one that was already overstrained) you could try to record yourself with a voice recorder and listen to yourself right after.

The fourth step: Comparison

Put the original and the revised copy side by side. Only through direct comparison do we recognize quality for sure.

Can you see that the revised copy has won? Usually this fact is unmistakable. I am often astonished that I had thought the original ready and round.

Unfortunately, improvement does not happen always and everywhere. Compare the two versions and be open for the possibility that a “crooked sentence”, “a weird picture” or “an unusual metaphor” has to be restored from the first draft, after all. Even with all the sloppiness of a first draft there are parts in a story where strength is inherent and that can not be obtained by effort and work but happens effortlessly in a blessed moment. These need to be preserved at all costs.